The emotional rollercoaster of an exit

An exit feels like a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Here are some tips to cope.

I went through my exit in 2023. The whole process, from initial conversation to cash in the bank, took 5 months.

It was a crazy rollercoaster of emotions.

I look back on that time now with fondness, almost nostalgia. And a strong sense of gratitude that we managed to make it happen. But I also have vivid memories of times of panic, feeling overwhelmed or terrified.

At the start of the deal, I thought I was well prepared for what lay ahead. I'd worked in M&A for eight years as a lawyer and then a corporate advisor. I knew to expect tricky negotiations and late-night worries that the deal might collapse over a tiny detail. 

But I hadn't appreciated the crazy rollercoaster of emotions that lay ahead. I was swinging from highs to lows and back again, all within the same day.

There's lots of advice around on the technical aspects of M&A, but little about the emotional side for the person in the hot seat.

And staying emotionally calm and in control is key to getting the best outcomes in negotiating the deal.

I will try to explain the emotions I felt and why, and what I did to cope, in the hope that it can help you prepare when you're going through an exit.

Let's start with the good stuff.

The Highs

To be a business owner negotiating an exit is a wonderfully privileged position.

There was a life-changing amount of money at the end of the deal. This was an opportunity to pay back the support of family, friends and investors who had supported us from the beginning. That was something I kept coming back to when things were tricky.

There were so many 'pinch yourself' moments. I remember calling my co-founder a bunch of times just to say "can you believe this is happening to us?". I recall the first time we saw our names on a purchase agreement with some large numbers in it. And watching the teams of advisors all working on your business and on your behalf was really cool.

I also remember trying to keep taking stock on what we’d achieved. If you’re in an exit negotiation, it's because your business has done well and built some serious value – enough that someone will pay a premium for it. That's great validation for all the hard work and risk along the way.

But there was a challenging side too.

The Lows

For me, the hardest thing was a fear that the deal would die.

Having been an advisor in the past, I knew how fragile these deals can be. A small issue in due diligence can get amplified out of proportion until it becomes a deal-breaker. Maybe you push too hard (or say the wrong thing) in a negotiation and kill the relationship. Sometimes the buyer just changes their mind and wants to walk away.

I found that terrifying, and struggled to put that risk into perspective (see the last section for more on the bigger picture).

Everything feels very high stakes. If there's life changing money on the table, that also means you have a lot to lose. Make a mistake in how you handle a DD request or negotiate a clause, and that might end up being a £1m+ error. I actually found the negotiations exciting in themselves, almost thrilling. I got a real buzz from it. But it's still scary and emotionally exhausting.

Then there's the weight of expectations of weight of expectation you carry from your co-Founder, team, Board, investors and family. I'd seen them make sacrifices and take risks along the journey of starting, funding and growing the company, and desperately wanted to repay them. You don't want to let them down.

For 90% of sellers, you've never done this before. You're learning about M&A on the fly – there's so much to learn.  The world of M&A can be hellishly over-whelming, riddled with jargon and technicalities. You're expected to be an overnight expert in a hundred new topics, whilst being afraid of screwing up.

Lastly, you have to do all this whilst keeping the business running. That workload and pressure doesn't go away. You need to keep hitting forecasts whilst the negotiations are happening – the worst thing you can do is miss forecasts. I was busier than I have ever been before, and that period was five months long.

A Rollercoaster

I would regularly swing from high to low in an instant, and back again. One moment everything is going great, then you have some bad news and everything seems doomed.

One day in particular stands out. We'd received the latest draft of the Letter of Intent overnight.

I remember seeing it come in on my phone whilst standing in the bathroom at home waiting for the shower to heat up. The buyer had conceded on many of the key points. We were delighted – it was much better than hoped, and was a signal that they were really keen.

Then an hour later, I get a call from a board member. He had been supportive, but has changed his mind. The valuation isn't high enough, so he wants us to reject the offer and grow the business before selling. He won't sell on the current terms, and will recommend the same to other shareholders he knows. That would kill the deal stone dead.

I found these constant swings emotionally exhausting. Especially as I didn't feel like I had any control – the next up or down would depend on whatever came in the next email or phone call.

By the end of the deal I just felt numb. You expect to feel a surge of joy once the deal has completed. People ask if you're on cloud nine – I only felt relief. We'd been working so hard, and my body had absorbed so much stress, that I felt nothing.

Advice

It's hard to give tips without sounding trite. I'm sure you don't need to be told to get plenty of sleep, not give up your exercise routine and find time to do things other than work...

Everyone has their own way of dealing with stressful situations.

It really helped me to put things in perspective. If you're in an exit conversation, that's because your business is doing great and is building value (assuming it's not a distressed sale). Worst case – the deal dies. You can just go back to running the business, keep growing and look at selling in the future. That's a key thing to remember.

Trying to see the bigger picture really helped me stay above the noise of whatever mini-crisis was going to hit my inbox next.

I also really relied on a few people for help. Having a small circle of trusted people who know how you feel and can put a calming hand on your shoulder is invaluable.

Lastly, I wish I'd been more informed about how I would feel through the deal. If you're considering a sale, I want to you to go into that with your eyes open and aware of the highs and lows that you'll feel. That would have helped me ride the emotions with more of a smile than a grimace.

I hope this article, and the others on Bizma, can be a source of comfort to guide you through the emotions of selling your business.

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jamie@example.com
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